Dunk Contest Timeline

Okay, so today I’ve decided to straight up steal a column idea from Bill Simmons…the running diary. For fear of any possible copyright infractions, I’m going to call this post a timeline. So without further adieu, here is are my timeline thoughts from the 2011 NBA Slam Dunk Contest: (All times Mountain Standard Time)

8:08 - Introduction of contestants and their respective coaches. I think the addition of coaches is a really good idea for this event. It gives them enough time to concentrate on inventing new, creative dunks that we haven’t seen before, without distracting them from actual games that actually matter. This year’s contestants:
DeMar DeRozan (Coach: Darryl Dawkins) – At 6’7” DeRozan is the shortest competitor this year in the dunk contest. If only for his size, he should pose a serious threat to win the contest this year. Only Dwight Howard has put on a real show for someone over 6’10”.

Serge Ibaka (Coach: Kevin Durant) – Durant seems like an interesting guy to be Ibaka’s coach. He certainly isn’t known for his dunking prowess. Perhaps his role is more of a historical reference since Ibaka has only been playing basketball for about five years. Ibaka’s biggest hurdle is going to be finding some way to appear that he actually needs to jump to dunk. He is listed at 6’10” but looks like a Pterodactyl when his arms are spread.

Javale McGee (Coach: Chris Webber) – Two questions about McGee: 1.) Why is Chris Webber his coach? I just cannot figure out what the link is here, and 2.) How long has he had the nickname “Commander and Chief?” I understand the D.C. link there, but I’ve never heard that before, and it seems like that nickname should go to someone with a little bit more experience and is um…better than Javale McGee. Oh well, I guess this is the reason why we have the dunk contest; to answer these types of questions.

Blake Griffin (Coach: Kenny Smith) – This coach seems a little bit more understandable. He’s been in the dunk contest, works for TNT, and seems like he can really lobby for his candidate. Griffin is definitely the favorite heading in. I do have some worries about his potential for really putting on a show. Griffin is a tremendous in-game dunker, but I just don’t know how well that will translate to a dunk contest. Also, if you wanted any evidence heading in that Griffin is the NBA’s favorite for this event, just look at the competition. Ibaka is 6’10” and McGee is 7’0”. Nobody, except maybe DeRozan, has the size advantage. Let’s move on.

8:16 – Cheryl Miller asks Griffin what he and coach Kenny Smith have as tonight’s gameplan. Griffin’s straight-faced response: “He hasn’t really helped me at all. He’s just been talkin’ a lot.” Wow! Griffin just went way up on my board of favorite athletes.

8:19 – Demar DeRozan’s first attempt of the night: an alley-oop off the basket support, through the legs, one-handed slam…unfortunately he missed the dunk off the front of the rim.

8:19 – And again…

8:20 – Fifth time’s a charm. That many attempts will probably hurt his score…and it is…44 My score: 9.

8:21: Serge Ibaka walks onto the court with a hoard of supporters followers NBA Africa flags as 12 see a graphic telling us that Ibaka was the 2008 Spanish League Dunk Contest Champion. I’m not sure a Spanish League dunk championship is really something you want to keep on your resume once you reach the NBA. It’s like an Eagle Scout award. How long do you keep the Eagle Scout award on a resume? I think there is a point somewhere down the line, when your responsibility as a fifteen year-old no longer comes into play. I’m just not sure when that time is. Someone please let me know.

8:22 – And Ibaka brings…the free throw dunk. Wow, he is the first man to actually dunk from the free throw line. That would have been a legal free throw. Unfortunately, the free throw dunk is the most over-used gimmick in the dunk contest. That should bring down the score a little. Score: 45. My score: 8.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this contest is already better than last year’s very forgettable snoozefest.

8:23 – Charles Barkley just threatened to assault Kevin Harlan for saying Ibaka’s dunk was better than Dr. J’s.

8:28 – Confusing rant by Chris Webber. Again, why is he McGee’s coach? Wow! Rant was followed by a great dunk with McGee bringing in a second basket and dunking two basketballs on two different hoops. It took him six tries, but wow, that was amazing. I still think this deserves a ten regardless of how many tries it took. Score: 50. My score: 10.

8:30 – Blake Griffin makes his first appearance. There crowd is definitely pumped for this and it is very evident why Kenny Smith is Griffin’s coach. He is a hype machine. Griffin ferociously throws down a 360 two-handed slam. This is a great start-off dunk, and if Griffin wants to make this a Vince Carter style legendary contest he needs to limit his attempts. Score: 49 My Score: 9.

8:36: Whoa! We have our first successful first time dunk. DeRozan throws down a lob pass, alley-oop, one-handed scoop reverse dunk. That was great! And he did it on the first attempt; that’s key. Score: 50 My score: 9.

8:38 - Ibaka brings in a kid to set up his next dunk, who has lost his toy. I stuffed toy is hanging in the rim. It looks like he is going to try and grab it with his teeth while he throws down a dunk. This will only be successful if he nails it on the first try. Ouch…grabbed the toy, but missed the dunk.

8:40 – After a delay and a commercial break, Ibaka completes the dunk on the second try. Only would have been a good dunk on the first try. I understand it’s difficult to get high enough to grab the toy with his mouth, but he’s 6’10”, not good enough for me. Score: 45 My score: 7.

8:44 – After 7 tries Griffin throws down a windmill dunk off a alley-oop off the side of the backboard from Baron Davis. Unfortunately for Griffin, he had to resort to his plan B dunk. Plan A would have been a spinning reverse dunk off of the same alley-oop pass from Davis. That was a great dunk, but it was too many attempts and we’ve seen it before. Score: 46 My score: 8.

8:45 – Javale McGee just announced he is going to try and dunk three balls. This should be interesting. McGee’s mother came down from the stands to deliver the special third ball and proceeded to give Hollywood greeting kisses to all of the judges. Julius Erving tried to steal a little bit more than a cheek greeting kiss and went for the lips.

8:48 – Wow! McGee finishes the second round with the two best dunks after throwing in three balls on one dunk. He threw in one with each hand and then caught a third on a pass from fellow Wizard, John Wall. Score: 49. My score: 10.

8:49 - After two rounds we Griffin and McGee are moving on to the finals. Wow, I think we may have a little controversy here. Did Griffin deserve to make the finals? I think we may have shades of 2009 where Nate Robinson was sent to the finals only because he needed to complete his Krypto-Nate gimmick wearing all green to beat Dwight Howard’s Superman character. Does this surprise me? Not at all. This is the NBA. After all, David Stern let a Russian oligarch become owner of an NBA team. I don’t think the NBA can get much more shady than that.

8:53 – Wow, I just realized the finals are going to be decided by a fan vote. Do we even need to watch these dunks to decide a winner? I think David Stern should throw Blake Griffin’s trophy for an alley-oop dunk. He’s already wrapped this thing up.

8:56 – Blake Griffin does another rehash with a twist and hangs on the rim by his elbow a la Vince Carter. It was a really impressive dunk, but that is a dunk that should have been retired with Vince Carter. Fortunately for Griffin, he faired better than Richard Jefferson who tried that dunk and couldn’t follow through. My score: 8.

8:58 – McGee throws down another great dunk on a cradle reverse dunk, soaring away from the basket. Great dunk, my score: 9.

9:00 – Oh boy! Kenny Smith has really set the stage for Griffin’s final dunk. He’s brought out a car and a Baptist choir to sing “I Believe I Can Fly.” To top it all off, Baron Davis is inside the car to throw a pass from the sun roof. Griffin finishes off the dunk with a two-handed slam, and stays on top of the hood of the car after throwing it down. That was a great setup, but he only dunked it over the hood. I think there was definitely some potential there for a better dunk. I’m expecting Griffin to come back next year for an even better demonstration. My score: 9.5.

9:05 – Oh snap son! McGee just threw down a reverse windmill dunk going away from the basket. That dunk was Carter-esque! Uh…but apparently the judges aren’t going to count the dunk because it didn’t go in clean enough. McGee settles for a fairly simple alley-oop off of the backboard. First dunk: 9. Second dunk: 7.

9:09 – And now for the least anticipated surprise of the show…the results. Your winner: Blake Griffin.

All in all, this was a good dunk contest, a kajillion times more exciting than last year. Griffin almost lived up to the hype and Javale McGee had two dunks that had never been done before, and earning my title of Dunk of the Night with his two-balled dunk on two different hoops.

I’m expecting a lot from next year’s contest. There is a hoard of super-athletic point guards in the NBA now. I think we should get to see Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook or John Wall compete next year against Griffin and some of these other big guys. Until next year…